Monday, March 22, 2010

Reason for visit to ER? "I'm a dumbass"

My husband built Brendan a bike ramp yesterday out of a few pieces of spare lumber.  B was having a blast but was going very slow over it.  I think  must have had an alien controling my mind, or I must have gone temporarily insane or something, because I had the words "that's not how you do it.  Let Momma show you how it's done." come out of my mouth.  What the hell was I thinking?!?!  Scott got me a new bike last week and it is a montain bike so I thought that gave me magical bike powers.  So I hop on my new (hot pink!) bike, complete with baby seat on the back (which probably doesn't help my already precarious balance!) and tried the jump.  TRIED.  DID NOT SUCCEED.  Bike landed off balance and being the idiot that I am, I tried to stop myself from falling.  Twisted the hell out of my knee and landed in a heap.  Luckily the knee was the only thing on me that got hurt.  The bike now needs a bit of straightening too apparently.  So there I was laying on the ground, wimpering (well, OK, crying) and asking for a pillow because I didn't want to get up and the ground was hard.  Brendan was standing over me saying "Momma come on, you have to get up and try again".  Scott was complaining because he hadn't figured out the video function on my phone in time.  He got me in the house and then had to go to the store.  Erin had already been buckled in the car to go with him when I had my not-so-brilliant brainstorm to try a death defying stunt.  I called my mom to tell her what an idiot I am and she said I should get it checked out and that she would take me so Scott didn't have to drag the kids.  the ER here is never busy so I got in pretty quick, they did an xray and said it was probably just a bad sprain and that I need to keep it immobilized and stay on crutches for a few days until I have a follow up visit with an ortho.  Scott wasn't happy about that, since with crutches I can't carry the baby or anything and he has to work and take care of kids, but when I yelled at him and told him he was being a complete ass, and his parents (who were here) agreed with me, he calmed down and apologized.  He's been a big help, brought me breakfast and coffee and meds this am, got B ready and off to school and has taken care of the girls all morning.  Meanwhile I'm on the couch with my foot up, trying to avoid moving too much since navagating the house with all the boxes and kids' crap on crutches is not very easy.  plus my knee hurts like hell.  I stilll can't believe I did that.  What the hell was I thinking??  I've never been very coordinated.  I still can't believe I managed to make the cheerleading squad in high school since I've always been a complete klutz.  the nurse yesterday handed me my crutches and asked "do you know how to use these?"  I said "Oh yea, I'm a pro" and took off down the hall.  I even beat mom to the door.  Hell, I think this is like the 8th time I've been on crutches thanks to things like weak ankles and idiocy.  I was even on crutches for my HS graduation because I tripped a few days before.  I wanted to just limp but the doc insisted I had to use crutches.  I had planned to ditch them behind a tree anyway, but I think my parents figured that because Dad walked me right up to the line.  Talk about mortifying! 

Hopefully when I see the ortho in a few days he says I can start using my leg again, since I can't drive or anything (it is my right leg).  Scott is going to take me to my knitting night since it is the last chance I get to go.  Thank God we have movers to do the packing since I don't think I'm going to get much else packed this week.  I'm an idiot.  I'm a moron.  I'm a klutz.  ::::;sigh::::::

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